Fr. Emilio's thoughts on his ordination: I once heard a quote, I can’t remember who said it but it was “A journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single step.”
I thought of that first step to the priesthood many years ago; actually when I was still a boy. The vocation, the calling to the priesthood I felt really deep down. I used to go to spiritual retreats in Spain where I lived and would spend two or three weeks a year in retreat at a monastery in Valladolid living a monastic life. It was there that I first felt the calling; many a time I felt like weeping when I had to go back to the mundane life of work and leave the retreat; I would feel a great sense of peace there.
I remember when much younger playing at being a priest and pretending I was saying the mass, never thinking that one day I would be ordained and pushing the thoughts aside. But, the thoughts of the priesthood never left, ever, and now here I am, an ordained priest.
I think that sometimes, especially when someone has been received for the first time into the Church, or one has a wonderful experience at retreat for example; the experience can be mistaken as a calling, though this may not necessarily mean a calling to the priesthood. It could be as a layman or a server and here I will say that the dedicated layman and the flock is as important as the priest in the church, as + Bishop Anthony has said on not a few occasions. A shepherd without a flock is not much of a shepherd.
But, I digress; the calling to the priesthood. I couldn’t really ignore the calling anymore and as Our Lord said on the Mount of Olives after the last supper in Luke 22:42 ‘Father, if thou wilt, remove this chalice from me: but yet not my will, but thine be done.’
Personally, I feel that I have been given a gift from God, and a beautiful one at that, though before I was ordained I thought as Peter did when called in Luke 5:8-10 ‘8 Which when Simon Peter saw, he fell down at Jesus' knees, saying: Depart from me, for I am a sinful man, O Lord. 9 For he was wholly astonished, and all that were with him, at the draught of the fishes which they had taken. 10 And so were also James and John the sons of Zebedee, who were Simon's partners. And Jesus saith to Simon: Fear not: from henceforth thou shalt catch men.’ But, in the end, it’s as I mentioned above ‘not my will, but thine be done.’
I will never forget my ordination. The feeling that ran through me as the Bishop laid his hands on my head was very powerful, I thought I was going to faint. By the end of my ordination and to this day I haven’t stopped smiling and feel full and satiated, as if I have had a very nice and large meal.
I would tell anybody who thinks he has the vocation and calling to think long and hard about it and to pray that they do the right thing, it’s always a surprise what the Lord asks for us.
I’ll close with a quote from our Holy Father Pope Benedict XVI when he was Cardinal:
There is no right to the priesthood. One cannot choose it as one chooses this job or that. One can only be chosen for it - by him. To be a priest does not belong to the list of human rights, and no one can sue to obtain it. He calls those whom he desires... For those who have received this call this means: He wants me. There is a will of Jesus concerned with me. I must enter into this will and mature within it. It is the space within which I must live. Our life will become the more fulfilled and free the more we become one with his will in which the most profound truth of our own self is contained. (Cardinal Joseph Ratzinger) |
